Fall Out of the Gap

Buried in the details of the deal to close California’s $19-billion budget deficit is a roughly $30-million tax break crafted to benefit a company owned by members of one of the state’s richest and most politically influential families, according to a legislative analysis obtained by The Times.

The provision, which will allow the Humboldt Redwood Co. to deduct $20 million in old losses from future taxes, is also expected to cover penalties and interest for the firm co-owned by three sons of Donald G. Fisher, founder of the Gap and Banana Republic, said company Chairman Sandy Dean.

-the LA Times

Nothing breaks my bleeding heart more than when our rich corporate overlords get money that should instead be diverted toward researching tree diseases in Redwood National Forest, or improving the general quality of Birkenstock sandals. This is another instance of corporate greed run totally amok. We cannot continually allow big business to profiteer at the expense of organic school lunch programs.

Robin Hood, that most American of good guys, would be ashamed.

Worse still is the disgrace that the three sons of Donald G. Fisher, founder of the Gap and Banana Republic, are bringing to the Humboldt name. Humboldt County is and should remain synonymous with really great marijuana and, to a lesser extent, Earth Day, and not some pillaging, despotic company that happens to sell awesome jeans. I wore Gap jeans the first time I ever burned an American flag to protest the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, but I’ll tell you right now, those days are long gone. My next pair of jeans will be made of 100 percent recycled plastic bags.

Speaking of the Gap, have you seen their ugly new logo? Much like their insanely cool clothes, it looks like it was put together by undernourished Malaysian children. Maybe the Humboldt Redwood Co. can spend some of their tax break money to bring some jobs back to America and hire a Madison Avenue design firm instead – assuming they don’t spend the entire $30 million on bigger McMansions and new Hummers.

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DeMint is DeMan!

It’s nice to see someone in politics (other than Jesus) still gets it right these days:

“[Senator Jim] DeMint said if someone is openly homosexual, they shouldn’t be teaching in the classroom and he holds the same position on an unmarried woman who’s sleeping with her boyfriend — she shouldn’t be in the classroom.”

Spartanburg Herald-Journal

Hear, hear, Senator!

A classroom is no place for unwed women! Those women have full-time jobs already as handmaidens of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. And if they DO have any free time once their duties to Him are done, they should spend it searching for men to marry so they can be impregnated and then ditched for newer unmarried women once they get fat and old.

As for gays, I’m still not sure I believe they actually exist. Until my proposed network of national bedroom cameras gets installed so we can keep close tabs on every would-be sodomizer in this country, I refuse to acknowledge that homo-SIN-uality is anything other than a construction of the liberal, Jew-run media. But if they ARE real, they shouldn’t be teaching America’s children either because they are an abomination against the very Creator who made them in His image. Let them stay closeted in the military, where they belong.

My only question for Senator DeMint is, why stop with just women and gays? What about all the communist sympathizers who voted Comrade Obama into office? Just because there was a clear and decisive majority of them does not give them the right to inculcate America’s children with their Nazi philosophies of readily accessible healthcare and tax relief strategies designed to curb the out-of-control income gap between the rich and the poor! We cannot allow these tyrannical hippies to contribute to the ongoing oppression of the rich in this country and then brainwash our children with fantastic, mythical notions like global warming and evolution. I say, no Obama voters in the classroom either! Who’s with me?

Like everything else worth doing, it’s clear that teaching should be the province of white men. And I thank God that we have a soldier like Jim DeMint on the front lines, fighting for what’s right, saying what’s true, and defending the good guys.

Happy New (Fiscal) Year!

As much as I love Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, I’ve never understood why modern calendar makers are still stuck on his birthday as the basis for our dating system. I mean, yes, he’s totes the best Lord and Savior out there (stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Dalai Lama), but let’s face it: it ain’t exactly Jesus that’s making the world go round these days, it’s the American Euro, also known as The Dollar.

Fwaaaaaah.

That is the spirit in which I celebrate October 1st as the beginning of my personal year. And this year looks to be a good one. Democrats in Congress are on the ropes, mostly for trying to bring unwanted healthcare to an electorate who very obviously prefers runaway insurance premiums and arbitrary denials of coverage by our corporate overlords. And isn’t that the way it should be?

Who needs healthcare anyway? This is America, where we live for the NOW, and no, Martha Burk, I am not talking about the National Organization of Womenazis. We’re not interested in long-term health anyway, or else why would we eat Wonder Bread and drive the Hummers that God made for us?

Stupid Democrats. All it would take to make Obamacare popular is to guarantee that big companies can continue to rake in untold, untaxed riches at the expense of little guys like you and me without making any of us think about preventative care or long-term planning (depressing!), and if you could throw in a tax cut for the big HMOs financed by cutting money for education or saving baby seals, so much the better.

I’m telling you, Democrats, if you listened to me, you’d be headed for Congressional majorities you could sustain until the next time you try to do something helpful and altruistic.

Thankfully, Obama and his majority party liberal tyrants are too busy governing the country and being decent peeple to pay any attention to a genius electoral strategist like me. Which is why this (fiscal) year is shaping up to be so beautiful. Once the Republicans retake the House and Senate, we can all start forking our money back over to defense contractors, oil companies, and rich peeple – America’s winners. And since the electorate will blame the resulting tide of misery squarely on Obama, it’s a hop, skip, and a jump to impeach his Kenyan ass before next New (Fiscal) Year!

God bless the Republic! And Happy New (Fiscal) Year! It’s the truest American holiday!